Women Want Debt-Free Virgins Who Aren’t Overly-Attached to their Mothers

[If it wasn’t obvious already, this is a response to “Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos“]

It’s just that simple, boys. If you want a wife, forget everything you knew. Forget everything you’ve been taught by movies, books, father-figures, and your Bible. Cause if you want a wife, you’re going to have to make yourself fit into her cardboard cutout ideal of what a perfect husband is. There’s a lot I could say on this because, well, there’s a lot we require. But I’m just going to give you the necessary basics.

  1. Don’t have any debt. Not even for a second. Do you feel called to go get a degree in petroleum engineering and are prompted to take out a loan because He’s promised to provide? Well, sorry. Find a less expensive calling, please.
  2. Virgin. It doesn’t matter if you became a Christian five seconds ago, you better have been saving yourself this whole time. No take-backs with boo boos like that. Sorry, sinner.
  3. It’s time to put your ma on the back burner. Ignore that text. Cut that tie. Why? Because it will drive us crazy if you don’t.

And there you have it! The all-encompassing life formula for being the ultimate husband for your future housewife.

 

 

 

…See how ridiculous that is?

 

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2 Comments

  1. Madly
    July 21, 2018 / 2:16 am

    What’s wrong with setting high expectations? We shouldn’t have to settle if we don’t want to and this article suggest it’s ridiculous if we expect this? Yes we should have grace and no not everyone has these qualities. But my husband is dept free, was a virgin when we married, and loves his mom at a healthy distance. Why can’t we have high expectations for the ones we are going to spend the rest of our lives with?

    • July 21, 2018 / 12:27 pm

      That’s a great question. Women certainly should have high expectations and so should men. The problem comes in when we set our own arbitrary standards that aren’t biblically based or spirit-led. The original article assumes that all women were made to be wives and fruitful stay at home mothers when that simply isn’t every woman’s calling. In the same way, it’s equally dangerous to shut our options to every man who isn’t a debt free virgin with a perfect mother relationship because that leaves God out of the question. His path of redemption for every person manifests differently, and that might end with someone not being debt free or being a virgin. Ultimately, those labels should be questioned long long after the most important one: is he a born again Christ follower?

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